It must be said that the chances of finding yourself face to face with a bear while you are out skiing are practically nil. However, since being eaten by a brown bear (or by a polar bear who has smuggled himself into the country on his ice floe) would ruin your holiday, here is some essential advice.
Stay alert!
First piece of advice: be sure to memorize all the advice which follows. The bear will quickly eat your Smartphone, especially if it has a “bees buzzing” ring-tone, because this will make him think that he has found honey. You can also forget the notes you scribbled on your hands: you are likely to find it difficult to take off your gloves, because you will be shaking with fear. In short, be vigilant! In the mountains danger is everywhere around you … and bears can hide anywhere. First step: make sure you can recognize them! Obviously, this will be more difficult at night. In dim light, many men look like bears. For safety’s sake: distrust anything which is not wearing clothes and has much too much fur to be true!
Adopt the correct approach!
As far as clothing is concerned, avoid brown ski suits which might make you look like a seductive partner for a lovesick bear and wrap the remains of your lunch in sealed containers, rather than carrying the last piece of your honey sandwich in your anorak pocket. Of course, say good-bye to honey-scented shampoos and shower gel, and to your Winnie-the-Pooh ski-hat: prevention is better than cure! If you find yourself alone in the woods, make some noise! Singing can be useful, as long as you don’t walk along with your personal stereo clamped to your ears. That means you risk not hearing the bear approaching. Whenever possible, stay in a group and with friends who are more appetizing than you are! It might also be better to avoid the raclette at lunch, if you want to have a chance of running faster than the others.
