Because, during your skiing holiday, the cold will always be your main enemy – if we forget about bears, of course – we have decided to share with you 10 proven techniques for warming yourself up.
Technique No. 1: adopt the onion look
No, you don’t have to smell like an onion! We are talking about clothing! The secret for staying warm while skiing is to wrap yourself, just like an onion, in layers which get progressively thicker. Remember: ten thin layers are more effective than one thick one! Obviously, don’t get carried away! You have to be able to keep your arms by your sides; otherwise you will be spending the day looking like a scarecrow on skies.
Technique No. 2: squat in front of the fire
Is it really that important, in the long run, to go out into the Arctic cold to spend the day sliding about on bits of wood?
Technique No. 3: Drink hot drinks
Cocoa, tea, coffee: take them in intravenously if you have to, but drink plenty of hot drinks! Even heat up your soft drinks if necessary! You must maintain your internal body heat!
Technique No. 4: take fright
The most cowardly, craven, fearful, in other words, the wimps among you will certainly have noticed: when you are really frightened, a huge wave of heat comes over you. Obviously, in everyday life, that is pretty unpleasant, but on the slopes, it could be a real asset! So, to be warm, make yourself afraid! Jump from the ski tow before it reaches its destination, shut your eyes as you ski down the runs or ski in and out of the fir trees! This technique is not without risk and is to be taken in moderation.
Technique No.5: eat
Raclette, tartiflette: eat your fill of all the dishes, whose names end in “ette”! Morning, noon and evening: potatoes and cheese are your best allies. At 4.00 hours a potato in your pocket will do the trick! Of course, on the slopes, the fact of constantly being in the process of digesting the last meal does not help your skiing performance, but from the point of view of warmth, you’ll be winning!
Technique No. 6: be a couple
Everyone knows that it is much warmer with two in a bed. All you have to do is to apply this technique from morning to evening. Find a partner of sufficient stature to guarantee a maximum temperature and cling together whatever you are doing. If you can’t find a pretty girl, find a mate, who even if he protests at first, will in the end benefit too! On the slopes, in the café, all evening, while sledging or on the ski tow: you operate as one being! On the other hand, say goodbye to your privacy…
Technique No. 7: dance
No need to wait for the evening to dance! In the queue for the ski tow, in the toilets or in the restaurant: practise your dance steps! Above all, don’t stay still! Among friends, you will look less silly than on your own, but when it is a question of looking ridiculous or staying warm, the choice is simple, isn’t it?
Technique No. 8: go to the sea-side
That goes without saying!
Technique No.9: tame a bear
Certainly, this could be a dangerous course of action, but a pet bear would keep you warm and comfortable all day long. Shivering? Quick, cuddle up to your bear. More practical in terms of portability, although less efficient in terms of heating, a weasel or a fox would also do.
Technique No.10: use all the techniques
Eat hot food, drink hot drinks, dress up like an onion; trap a bear, let him scare you, dance with him: in short be smart and you will survive.
